Bessel van der Kolk's work broke something open for me - mostly the illusion that understanding my wounds was the same as healing them. I can tell you exactly why I flinch when someone raises their voice. I can trace it back to a bedroom wall and a pillow over my head and two adults who should have taken it outside. I can name the attachment style it created, the coping mechanisms it installed, the way it shows up in my relationships two decades later. I've done the reading, the journaling, the therapy homework. If understanding …