I have an embarrassingly long list of things I promise myself to do and then not do it -- sometimes even intentionally. I’ve had different labels and often legit reasons/excuses for them. But it never dawned on me, that collectively this is called self-sabotaging. Credit goes to a recent book I read. Self-sabotage is the behavior and thought patterns that stop you from doing what you want to do. I’ve been on an auto-pilot mode where a situation triggers some internal dialogues resulting in subconscious behaviors and all this happens so …
Finding joy and magic in the mundane
Many of us treat joy like our mothers treat “the good silverware” — only brought out for special occasions. “The tyranny of when” - the idea that we will only be happy “when” we’ve lost weight, gone for that dream vacation, got a better job, or it’s your birthday. We tend to wait for these Hollywood moments, thinking they will make our lives wonderful - and they do. But they’re also, by definition, extremely rare and fleeting, and sometimes never even come about. But investing your happiness in a few key dates is like choosing to see in …
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Rewire your brain
Most self-help advice for any anxious, depressed, or anyone going through some mental trauma revolves around rewiring your brain. "X steps to fix your mood forever." Although well-intentioned, they all seem to skip a critical step. In order to rewire your brain, you first need to identify exactly when your brain is spiraling out of control. Often by the time you realize that you are feeling anxious or overwhelmed, it has already triggered so many things that it's hard even to pinpoint what you were stressed about. We all know the …
A day in the life of a newbie solo traveller
On my first solo trip to Kashmir, I wanted to go for a day or two hikes in Gulmarg/Pahalgam. But the weather had suddenly become quite cold (~Zero degree Celsius at night) and I didn’t have appropriate winter clothing. Contemplating between whether or not to buy all the winter gear and then a hard look at my overpacked suitcase took a while and by the time I stepped out, it was already 12 pm. And as luck would have it, the sun was blazing hot after 4 days of gloomy, cold, and rainy weather. I had seen a hot air balloon while crossing …
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From Cacti Killer to Gardener
This quote hits home. I’ve tried growing plants a couple of times. And I’ve killed all of them - every single time. I’m talking about killing - Aloe vera and cactus, also known as the king and queen of the most indestructible plants on every gardening list. After a while, I ran out of excuses for blaming external factors like bad weather, bad plants, bad soil, etc. but still didn’t want to publicly admit that maybe gardening is not my thing. Every once in a while, I would tell Hari, let’s get only a few plants, this time it will …
Why Kashmir is my happy place?
Kashmir became my home in just one visit. And almost the whole of it is because of these people. I went on a solo trip to Srinagar and stayed with Insha and her beautiful family for 6 nights. I've never stayed/seen such a huge property and also lived with a joint family. The place is stunning with big rooms, wi-fi, power backup, a fully equipped kitchen, open grasslands of the size of the mansion, an orchard, a cave, and even a water stream opening to dal lake. I was greeted very warmly by everyone. Aunty (Insha’s …
My Solo Trip To Kashmir And A Brush With Kashmiriyat (Part 1)
Terrorism and Jannat are the two words that come to your mind when you think about Kashmir. The magical valleys as I had only seen in photographs and movies were calling me for a while now. It has always been on top of my bucket list. But the constant horror stories of curfews, crackdowns, terrorist attacks, blasts at Lal Chowk, locals undertaking yet another war with the armed forces and my motion sickness with mountains always made it really daunting to travel solo. Kashmir, hands down is one of the most beautiful places in this world, but I …
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Dear Husband,
12 Years ago, on this day, I met a guy in a tech conference who looked quite clueless. Little did I know that he was actually following me throughout the event and was startled when his crush approached him out of the blue. We became best friends within a year and I had no idea that all this while he really wanted to date me. I was actually “the clueless kid”. For me, it was definitely not love at the first sight or the 10th (I know 😂). We didn’t have the fairy tale romance or the Hollywood/Bollywood love affair. Infact, it’s been quite a …