On my first solo trip to Kashmir, I wanted to go for a day or two hikes in Gulmarg/Pahalgam. But the weather had suddenly become quite cold (~Zero degree Celsius at night) and I didn’t have appropriate winter clothing. Contemplating between whether or not to buy all the winter gear and then a hard look at my overpacked suitcase took a while and by the time I stepped out, it was already 12 pm. And as luck would have it, the sun was blazing hot after 4 days of gloomy, cold, and rainy weather.
I had seen a hot air balloon while crossing Dal Lake and it has been on my bucket list for a pretty long time. The organizers had gone for their afternoon namaz and after waiting for 40 mins in the hot sun, I learned that they only started the ride in the evening. And of course, I had left the sunglasses and hat at home. And then I couldn’t find any good vegetarian food options. Maybe a little bit of planning isn’t such a bad thing after all.
I tried to cheer myself up and started walking. A few steps ahead, there was a signboard for the Shankaracharya temple. The entry gate had a check post which was a mini version of an airport security check. Since I was alone, and walking instead of going in a car, the security guy stopped me and started asking questions. He was quite taken aback that I was traveling alone in Kashmir. This was my 6th day here and by this time, I had gotten quite used to this remark. He said-
Are you mad? Pata nahi Kashmir safe nahi he, go back to your home and don’t walk alone.
I nodded and said ok and went about seeing the temple.
Kya faltu police he!! Isn’t this his sole job to keep Kashmir safe? Which idiot says this to a tourist? Hiring the right people is a pain in the ass in every field.
Only cabs were allowed after the checkpoint and no autos. The roads were highway level good. (PS: I stay in Bangalore). And the whole path was covered with lush green trees and plants.
The security folks asked some cab guys to drop me off. They were asking for 200 – 600 Rs. I thought if they are asking for 200Rs, it must be pretty close. Trek nahi to, walk hi sahi. I kept walking and clicked so many pictures of exotic plants and flower varieties including Kashmir’s cherry blossom. Flowers truly make the world a better place – Yes, I made up this quote.
There was a forest trail next to the road. And since it had been raining for the last few days, the path was slippery.
I’ve had a massive dog phobia my entire life. In fact, it was the main reason for picking Singapore for my first solo trip. But I was deliberately trying to get better at it. (Update: I’m still scared of dogs but I can pet them now if they are not barking).
I took a deep breath and told myself to be brave and be mentally prepared not to panic if I spot a dog in any of the turns- and whatever the fuck happens, not to run away. Also, I self-declared that apart from dogs there won’t be any other animal.
The forest was really pretty. I had this urge to go off the trail and deep into the forest but thankfully my senses for some unknown reasons returned back quickly.
Interestingly, I was the only human on the trail which was really bizarre. Cars were going almost non-stop on the nearby road. Surely, there must be some people ahead of me on the trail. I thought of calling/yelling “Hello” but then dropped it. Primarily, because I was scared that might attract dogs and secondly, people apparently can’t hear me in normal settings.
The forest was quite serene minus the car noises, every time I was near the roadside. The trail wasn’t marked and due to the rain, there were overgrown wild bushes and grass everywhere, making spotting the turns even more difficult. I was shuttling between road and trail but it was still fun.
In one such instance, I saw a circle in which there was a memorial built for forest martyrs of J&K. This always chokes me up a bit. I spent some time there and then started walking back.
It occurred to me that I should have seen the map of the place I was heading to. At least, know how far it is. I kept walking while trying to search the route on google maps and also looking for an entry point to get back on the trail. I slipped once trying to climb up what looked like a mini-entry point.
Also, this will be the only time I admit publicly, I don’t know how to tie the shoe laces. I mean, I tie but they never seem to stay in place.
So, while multi-tasking all of this and succeeding at nothing, I noticed all the cars were going in the opposite direction. Oh, Was I going in the ‘Ulta’ direction? Bloody hell. Now, this needs some serious talent.
Going uphill on a mountain is a straight path with no diversions. You go up and down the same route. If nothing your legs will know the difference between ascent and descent pretty soon – especially mine. It’s not rocket science. Ab kya hi bolun!! And I want to travel solo – Yipee.
From childhood, I’ve been labeled as the girl who is ‘always lost in her own thoughts’ by my family and closest friends. And it’s true. I need good solitude time with no human interactions on a daily basis.
The sound of wind blowing through leaves, the aroma of flowers, the cool breeze, and the sun playing hide and seek through the trees. It’s your private exclusive time with the mountains where you discover your bliss. And then you set out to seek more. Well, this is enough to put anyone in a trance, especially after covid.
Around midway, I spotted a unique flower and as I went closer and moved the leaves, there was a majestic view of the mighty ‘Dal Lake’. I had enquired about this on one of my early morning shikara rides but had totally forgotten about it. Is this what people call destiny? It’s a good thing, I giggled.
I was so mesmerized that I kept one foot a little further than I should have and almost slipped. It would have been a steep drop and the slope was filled with rocks and thorny bushes.
All of my frustrations and the negative banter about my stupidity so far just went out of the window. It was my choice to travel solo and I’m the only one responsible for my safety. I can’t be reckless.
While returning back from the hike, I learned that the forest trail was newly opened, and the entry gate of the trail (which I had missed) had a list of animals found on this trail. Maybe that’s why everyone was commuting via car and no one chose to go through the jungle.
Hari was flying to the USA around the time, I started the hike. We joke about it now, that if something had happened to me, he wouldn’t even know until a couple of days. Also, there was no one at that time on the road or the trail. So, god forbid, if things went south, no one would even look for me, at least for a while.
There are some experiences in life when you look back and realize, if only one of the things went sideways, it would have been the difference between life and death. This was clearly one of them.
I don’t know if I will attempt doing this again, now that I know about the wildlife on the trail. But I had such a gala time walking by myself, stopping every now and then to click the picture of different varieties of flowers, listening to audible, and helping people along the way.
One of the sweetest things about this hike was when I reached the dropoff point for the car, a group of people from Bombay started clapping and saying congratulations. At first, I was taken aback and didn’t really understand what they were doing. They had seen me from the start of the trail and were keeping an eye out for me. The girl who is hiking alone. Honestly, I didn’t even know this was a hike in the first place. They asked, how long it took you? I told them I wasn’t timing it. They congratulated me again and it felt good with a mix of, I guess, guilt.
See, it was an easy hike and I was walking quite leisurely stopping at almost every turn either to click pictures or soak in the view. It’s at 5700 ft. I had done a Triund trek which was 9500 ft and that was a bit hard.
But that’s when I realized this was my first solo hike. Why do I have such a hard time praising myself? I would have congratulated any other friend, hell, even a stranger.
Also, mountains and I have had a complicated relationship. Due to quite traumatic experiences of mountain sickness in my school years, I’ve always stayed away from the hills. Hiking and trekking are quite new concepts for me. I didn’t know any family or friends who did running, trekking, etc. Until 2 years ago, I thought India has the Himalayas and Nepal has Mount Everest and that’s about it. I know, so embarrassing.
Hari and I had done quite some hikes in Vietnam. I was sick almost the whole trip and would do all of these hikes without a water bottle or having proper food. This often resulted in me feeling dizzy. And I thought this was proof enough that I couldn’t do any hard physical activity.
My first trek (Triund) was just a few months prior with a bunch of friends. It was great but the snowstorm at the summit and lack of proper layers made it a bit challenging. I was so glad that I had a group of friends who had my back. I wouldn’t dare for doing this solo.
So doing this small hike on my own felt quite good. I had never thought I could do this on my own. But why did I believe that I couldn’t do this? Everything is a skill that can be learned, right? I mean, I’ve changed careers more than once and I’m doing pretty well. This question led to discovering another blindspot of mine.
I was born with a tumor and the doctor had asked me to not do any strenuous physical activity. This resulted in me getting a rain check for anything sports related. I’ve never run or participated in any sports events throughout my school years, except Dodgeball and I was damn good at it.
My tumor was taken out when I was 13 years old and that took away all the staying out of PT classes privileges. It was TORTURE, especially in Rajasthan ki garmi. So much so that I wanted my tumor back. But luckily I stayed away from any other sports-related thingy. Reflecting back, it was obviously because I wasn’t good at anything and didn’t have any desire to get better. But in my head, it was always because I had a tumor.
I have been a dancer most of my life – specifically till undergrad. And during my high school years, I was a rebel high-speed cycle racer who took great pride (borderline justified ego) in overtaking guys and watching their mouths drop when they saw me – a girl. I wasn’t scared to get in an accident but I just won’t lose. (I know, quite delusional !!) These were clearly physically challenging activities. But I never registered them as sports.
I had carried my tumor until now and had no clue. My default answer for any physical straining activity – trekking, running, etc. (until now) was still – I have a tumor, and the doctor has asked me not to do this.
Sitting at the peak, marveling at the view, peace, and all of these reflections was quite overwhelming, to say the least.
And that’s why I travel solo. I’ve grown as an individual and learned so much about myself. Traveling alone is an educational experience. There’s real strength in navigating a new place by yourself. Take the time to discover your own strengths and weaknesses as you embrace who you are as a person. Happy travels !!
Oh, and I reached the hot air balloon site right on time. The queue was long and I didn’t want to wait. But the organizer recognized me immediately. And he put me first in the line. The winds were not that kind, so the hot air balloon went a little bit of height. He refunded the amount and asked me to come back tomorrow. I had an early morning flight, so I thanked him and said not to worry. There were a bunch of street food stalls nearby and it tasted divine.
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