I spent my 20s running. Running toward something I couldn’t quite name, chasing the version of myself I thought I was supposed to become. I wanted to look like I had it together, like I belonged, like I was important. And then one day, somewhere between exhaustion and self-reflection, I realized—I was running in the wrong direction.
Here’s what I wish I knew sooner.
1. You’re Not As Important As You Think (And That’s A Good Thing)
For years, I obsessed over what people thought of me. Every mistake felt monumental, every judgment carved into stone. It took me far too long to understand this: people aren’t thinking about you. They’re thinking about themselves, just like you are. And once you realize this, life becomes lighter. You stop holding your breath. You stop performing. You just start living.
2. The Right Path Is The One You Make
I used to think there was a blueprint—a way things were done, a sequence to follow. But the truth is, no one knows what they’re doing. We’re all improvising. The people who seem the most sure of themselves? They’ve just learned to trust their own choices.
Stop waiting for permission. Stop waiting for clarity. Clarity comes from doing, from trying, from moving forward even when you’re unsure. The only way to know if something is right for you is to live it.
3. Money Solves Some Problems, But Not The Important Ones
We’re told to chase financial stability, and we should. But there’s a dangerous trade-off when money becomes the only goal. I’ve met people who “made it” financially but felt empty. I’ve seen others struggle with money but live rich, full lives. Security is important, but meaning is essential. If your work drains your soul, no paycheck will fill the gap.
4. The Life You Romanticize Might Already Be Yours
We scroll through lives that look better than ours. We watch highlight reels and assume everyone else is happier, more successful, more fulfilled. But the thing we’re searching for—the magic, the meaning, the deep sense of presence—it isn’t found in grand gestures. It’s in the quiet, ordinary moments. The morning light hitting your desk just right. A walk that clears your mind. A laugh that catches you off guard. The life you want isn’t out there; it’s here. Pay attention.
5. You Are Already Whole
For years, I thought I needed someone else to complete me. I believed the right relationship, the right partner, would fill the gaps in me. But no one else can do that. You are not half of anything. You are already whole. The best relationships are not about filling voids but about standing side by side, two complete people choosing to build something together.
6. Pain Is A Teacher, If You Let It Be
Dark times will come. They always do. And when they do, you’ll be tempted to run, to numb, to distract. But the hardest moments shape you in ways that easy times never could. Growth is born in discomfort. Strength is forged in struggle. You don’t have to love the pain, but if you can sit with it, learn from it, and move through it, you’ll come out the other side changed. And that change? It’s usually the thing you were searching for all along.
7. Change Is Not The Enemy
I used to resist change, fearing it meant losing control. But change is not something that happens to you; it’s something that happens for you—if you let it. The best things in my life came from moments of uncertainty, from stepping into the unknown. So change your routine, change your city, change your mind. Don’t get stuck in a life that no longer fits you.
8. Go All In (Or Don’t Bother)
Hesitation kills dreams. If you’re going to do something, do it fully. Love like you mean it. Create like it matters. Work like it’s your legacy. Fear of failure will whisper in your ear, but regret will scream louder if you never try.
9. Life Is Not That Serious
We get one shot at this. One short, unpredictable, messy, beautiful life. Don’t waste it trying to impress people who don’t matter. Don’t let fear keep you small. Take the trip. Start the thing. Say what you mean. Laugh too loudly. Let life be big and weird and joyful. Let it be yours.
10. You’ll Be Okay
There were nights I lay awake, convinced I was failing at life. That I wasn’t enough. That I was falling behind. But here’s what I know now: you will be okay. Maybe not immediately, maybe not in the way you expect, but eventually. Life has a way of working itself out. Keep going.
I wish I could go back and tell my younger self all of this. But since I can’t, I’ll tell you instead. Maybe you need to hear it, too.
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