From the moment I was born, I have always been ‘The Good Girl’. This in turn resulted in always saying ‘Yes’’ and never ‘NO’. Always adjusting and agreeing with other people’s requests rather than questioning them. And never learning to set any boundaries with people close to me or just myself. I kept a lot of unprocessed emotions to myself. Times when I should have voiced my opinions and called people out but didn’t. It slowly kept eating me up and I started ruminating. Until a couple of years back, I didn’t even know that rumination was a …
Why is self-care so hard for women?
Aunt - Your uncle is out of town for 3 weeks. I haven't cooked a proper meal for quite a while now.Me : But why? You love cooking.Aunt : Yes, but why should I put so much effort just for myself? Honestly, my immediate reaction was that’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard. But then I got reminded of the times when I’ve done the same. Although, at that moment I genuinely believed that it was because I’m a couch-potato but now reflecting back, I don’t think that was all. Women are nurturers, care-givers, and by nature very …
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Don’t let your emotions ruin your day
Mastering your emotions is the ultimate superpower. It's really hard to stop yourself from feeling a certain way in any given moment. We have all experienced that sinking feeling in the stomach, when we overreact to certain impulses. We do feel bad in the moment but our feelings intensify once we fathom the aftermath of how we reacted. This is accompanied by a sense of guilt and shame. Even when we know that it was someone else's wrongdoing, we feel terrible in reciprocating the behaviour. These emotions are shit hard to brush off. And …
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2020 : The year that was..
Congratulations!! You have made it alive through 2020. This is hands-down the biggest accomplishment of our lives. This gloomy year was like nothing we’ve ever experienced in our lifetimes - uncertain, heart-breaking, exhausting with a total loss of freedom. It was like our whole world had been turned upside down. But tough times do not hold the pen to our story. We do. Personally for me, the whole experience of lockdown has been quite transforming. It has challenged my perceptions and forced me to slow down, pause, reevaluate my …
When Breath Becomes Air
I had read this book a few months back and I read the last 2 chapters again this morning. The news of close friends and family members falling sick was making me anxious and yet ironically I felt that reading the autobiography of a talented neurosurgeon - Paul Kalanithi who died at a very young age from cancer will give me peace. And it sure did. It’s quite emotional, heart-breaking but also a profound and inspiring story of a remarkable man. It’s a book about embracing the reality of death which teaches you how to be alive, being …
Honest Talk
I’m not a writer. I can’t write and so I didn’t until I was 33. Even though I know, writing like any other skill-set can be learned. And yes, I’ve written countless posts that never saw the light of the day. The reasons varied every time but I knew this was a fear I had to overcome. And I was in luck. My friends made a pact of writing one blog every Sunday and I joined them on a whim. I knew it would be easy to write about work (given the long list of drafts and notes, I’ve gathered.) Thus, I decided to write about my learnings, failures - and …
Lessons Learnt Outside Classroom
I found this note tucked safely in my college notebook - my 'Idea Journal'. It took me back in memory lane. This is a receipt from a local market of the gift items I’ve purchased. Before I proceed any further, here’s a little background info. During my undergrad, I was the studious kid(aka. Teacher’s favorite). I loved computer science and was always trying to be two steps ahead of my college curriculum. However, for my post-grad, extra-curricular activities were my focal point. Primarily because I’m an introvert. I could spend …
The Comparison Trap
The reason why we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel.Steven Furtick We all know the gut-wrenching feelings that arise when we compare our worst moments with some else’s highlight reel. It could be about anything - financial, social status, physical appearances, etc. It makes us feel underappreciated, not good enough, and horrible. Even though we are well aware that there will always be someone who is better than us but we still want to be like them, actually be better than …