My Musings – Page 34 – Not your ordinary tales

When You Feel Like You’re Falling Behind

Somewhere between trying to be productive and wasting hours scrolling through other people’s accomplishments, there’s a familiar tug. The need to feel like I’m doing okay. Not spectacular, not extraordinary—just okay. It’s strange how easily the mind turns on itself. I’ve made tough decisions, built a career from scratch, climbed mountains, and walked paths that once felt impossible. And yet, one glance at someone else’s progress can make all of it seem smaller, as if I’m barely moving at all. For the longest time, I treated this as a …

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The Weight of What We Carry

For a long time, I didn’t think of myself as an angry person. Frustrated? Sure. Irritated? Occasionally. But anger? That felt like something that belonged to other people—louder people, reckless people, people who hadn’t mastered the art of keeping things together. I convinced myself I was past all that. Turns out, anger doesn’t disappear just because you ignore it. It waits. It sinks into your muscles, stiffens your jaw, shapes the way you shrink yourself to keep the peace. It turns into exhaustion that no amount of sleep can fix. It …

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The Silent Contracts That Ruin Everything

Nobody tells you this upfront, but half of life's disappointments come from invisible contracts you never signed. The agreements exist only in your head. You expect a friend to check in because you always do. You assume a colleague will recognize your effort without being told. You wait for a partner to pick up on what’s bothering you, convinced they should already know. And when they don’t, irritation settles in. Unspoken expectations have a way of turning into quiet resentment. Not because people are careless, but because they aren’t …

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Walking Into the Unknown, Again and Again

Then vs. Now: Same summit, different me. I was bent over, hands on my knees, dragging air into my lungs like it owed me something. My stomach clenched in protest. My feet felt like dead weight. The trail ahead stretched unforgivingly upward, snow-packed and steep. Every part of me screamed to stop, but stopping wasn’t an option. A little over a year apart, I stood at the start of this same trail. Same climb. Same mountains. But I wasn’t the same person. Seven treks in roughly 15 months. That’s the number people get stuck on. “Wow, …

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How to Stop Running from Your Own Feelings

Trekking forces honesty. The kind you can’t fake. You don’t get to outthink exhaustion. You don’t get to ignore your burning legs. The mountain doesn’t care if you’d rather pretend you’re fine. You either face what’s happening in your body, or it stops you in your tracks. It’s a lesson I’ve tried to dodge in life. Pain shows up, and my first instinct is to sidestep it. Stay busy. Scroll mindlessly. Pretend it’s nothing. But pain ignored doesn’t fade—it festers. A quiet discomfort turns into something heavy, something that grips tighter the …

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Wild Enough to Let It Be

There’s a strange kind of relief in realizing you don’t have to wrestle every answer to the ground. That not every moment needs to be neatly filed under ‘this is why it happened’ or ‘this is what it means.’ Some things just are. Some people just come and go. Some paths lead exactly where they were meant to, even if you had no idea at the start. Understanding always seemed like a prerequisite for moving forward. That if every chain reaction of events—who did what, what led to what, where the cracks began—could be untangled, peace would …

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