It can be daunting to travel alone, especially if it’s your first time. Traveling by yourself is refreshing, challenging, and an adventure of its own. It’s a wonderful opportunity to expand your horizons, to discover stuff about yourself and the world you never knew.
I went for my first ever solo trip in 2019. I guess you can call me the ‘planner’ types – you know the one who endlessly researches for the perfect destinations, resorts, weather, things to do (and not to do) – yep, that’s me. The first day of my trip was nothing short of a nightmare. Looking back, I think it was a testament to the learnings ahead.
I picked Singapore as it’s really safe, close to India (I hate long flights) and most importantly I had been there before for a short trip. I knew some friends and relatives too (Just in case..).
I have always been an independent girl/woman. I left home when I was 18 years old – first college, work, and then marriage. I gave a really hard time to guys who remotely thought I was a damsel in distress who needed a prince charming for rescue. Infact, even before joining the college, a guy gave me this cute nickname – “Kalyug ki Jhansi ki Rani“. I can write a book about the crazy stuff I had done in college. But the point is, I wasn’t the type who was scared to be on my own in a new country.
But I just couldn’t wrap my head around what was I supposed to do, now that I’m here?
Should I be discovering new places/cultures, meeting potential clients, treat this as an offsite to plan for work, self- discovery?
The over-ambitious me wanted to do all of this and perfectly too, but I knew this can’t be relaxing especially if you have 5 days. These thought cycles alone were very taxing. So far, nothing about this trip was going as per the plan. Hell, I didn’t have any and I was panicking.
I know the obvious answer for any sane person would be to relax and take things as they come. But this was easier said than done especially if you were talking about me. My family still jokes about the time-tables I used to make when I was a kid in the tiny notepads dad got. I would account not just for the study time but eating, sleeping – basically everything. As an adult now, I have improvised – but I need to have a plan about everything.
The next day or two were gone in the same tug of war between planning and not planning. Frustrated, embarrassed and really exhausted one evening while roaming around Sentosa I gave in. That memory is still crystal clear in my head. I just couldn’t deal with all the questions bombarding in my head. What was this trip for? Where is the self- discovery people talked about? What should I do to get that? What am I doing with my life? What should I be doing? I really wanted to hug someone, cry and talk but I was alone there and this was my choice.
I had tears in my eyes and a thought occurred as if a voice was speaking to me – Just relax and breathe. Everything will work out, just enjoy this moment. This was magical. I didn’t knew this then but I was having an anxiety attack. And that’s when I started counting the amazing things I have done so far –
- Met new people. (I can chat/talk for hours on phone but I struggle meeting people face-to-face).
- Happily did a 450m long Zip-line twice without any fear. I’m really really really scared of heights and I zero fear. In fact, I was super excited and almost jumping with joy.
- Had a giant python wrapped around my neck twice (The first time pics were not that good.) Hell, I was scared and this was super impromptu.
- Navigating with and without maps. (My direction sense is incredible and I just don’t get the pointer arrow of google maps.)
- Not leaving the hotel room until 7 pm- watching TV, sleeping, eating, and with long bathtub showers without any guilt (well…. except a teeny-weeny)
For the first time in forever, I didn’t have any itinerary planned and this turned out to be amazing. There is no way in hell or heaven that I would have planned for these experiences. I really felt light as a feather. I heard an applaud, I sat back up, stopped the music, and pulled out the earphones. I was sitting on the stairs overlooking the sea. The place was suddenly crowded and buzzing with people. Turns out a free Light & Water Show was about to get started and let’s just say I was sitting at the perfect spot. This was my 3rd visit to the Island and I have never heard or read (i.e researched) about this show. It was stunning and I was all smiles.I was very hesitant in talking with strangers but I wanted to try new things. I started with a smile and saying hello, some responded back but seems as if everyone was rushing to one show or another. I improvised and approached the event organizers and asked them where they were from. This worked.
Me – Thank you. Where are you from?
Lady Z- Hello, I’m from Singapore. Where are you from?
Me – India.
Lady Z – WOW! I’ve always wanted to travel there. Are you with your family or friends?
Me – You should totally come. It’s a lovely place. No, I’m traveling solo. In fact, this is my first solo trip.
Lady Z – Are you serious? You are so brave!! I’ve always wanted to do solo travel. You are my idol.
Me- Umm… Thanks but actually I’ve been to Singapore earlier too.
Lady Z – But now you are on your own right? That’s so amazing. One day I will do that too.. I just love to travel. Weren’t you scared?
Me – A little. Yeah.
Lady Z – Then, how did you manage?
Me – Just book the tickets and trust yourself. Things will fall into place.
Lady Z – I will. Thank you and enjoy your stay in Singapore.
Me – Thanks.
I was pleasantly surprised. Minutes before this, I was cursing myself that what took me so long to do my first solo trip and why I didn’t pick a new place. And I could feel the voice smiling with a told you so.
Now, I love impromptu trips and hate planning. Last year I and my husband went on a 5 week unplanned trip to Vietnam. We didn’t know which city we will be in the next 2 days. We would research search about what to do today over breakfast and take the day as it comes. This was a trip of a lifetime for many reasons and we have timeless memories. Now with COVID in effect, I’m even more grateful for all the travel experiences.
It’s an exhilarating experience to go about on your lonesome and cope with whatever challenges the world throws at you. Traveling by myself made me realize that I’m stronger than I thought I was. Regardless of the place you pick and what you do, it will change you for good and you will be left with some amazing memories.
Babita Chandak says
So nicely explained. Love the way you explained about u r fear anxiety your massup and then your joy, over comes from your fears. Keep it up.
vasudha says
Thank you. So glad you liked it. ♥
Rashmi Talreja says
Really u penned ur experience so beautifully that now I m looking forward for everything to b normal again n waiting to plan a solo trip for me soon
vasudha says
I’m so glad to hear that. You should totally.
And thank you for sharing that. I really appreciate it.
Atibhi says
Such a warm and well written post Looking forward to more