Don’t be scared. It will be over in a minute. You are a brave girl, right?
As a kid, I’ve been terribly terrified about visiting the dentist – the sound of the drill machine, intolerable nerve pricks, the thought of me dying while lying on the dentist’s chair, etc. would scare me to death. I would try all sorts of household remedies, so called teeth friendly diets (bye bye sugar), praying to god for a miracle – or giving me some magical powers or wait what if a fairy shows up or a genie. But none of that as you know worked and in the process, I made the dental trauma worse.
Working up the nerve to do something you dread sucks! But alas! D-Day arrives and my mum and the dentist assure me that I won’t feel any pain after one injection (anesthesia) and I can raise my hand anytime and the doc will stop. After taking a lot of one minutes breaks, many deep last breaths, reciting this old song “Maut Se Kya Darna” and reminding the doctor to stop the moment I raise my hand, I surrendered. His next appointment has already arrived and the doctor seems slightly furious with me. I realize that any further delay would mean that he is going to do a fast and sloppy job and thereby hurting me more. So reluctant and scared, I take one last deep breath and prepare to die – in the hopes of waking up alive.
The drill machine is a scary monster. The assistant is holding the mirror for the doc which gives me a sneak peek of all the blood and the broken teeth. I quickly shut my eyes and told myself –
”Vasu, trust the doctor. He knows what he is doing. Stop being a baby. You are ..
Ouch, that hurts!! The nerve pain ..it pricks
Tolerate .. be brave…a little more..”
I raise my hand signaling the dentist to stop. He doesn’t.
I raised both my hands, in case he was expecting me to use the other hand as the stopping signal. He doesn’t.
I try to make any sound from my mouth while he has the drill machine in full swing and he says
“Of course, it’s going to hurt. Learn to tolerate a bit.”
But… he promised he would stop. He promised it wouldn’t hurt.
Oh!! He lied. All of the self-assurance nonsense was a lie.
It’s going to hurt ..constantly… Hell, it will get worse.
He lied…I was so stupid to trust him. I will never ever trust any dentist again.
My follow-up visits were more of mental torture than dental and it would hit the roof every time the doc said it won’t hurt.
In my teen years, I had overlapping teeth and my family decided that I should get braces. My mom found a good and renowned dentist in another city and we would travel 10 hrs back and forth for every visit. This dentist has a shiny and sparkling office with the biggest desktop computer I’ve seen. Oh! And fancy dentist equipment. I’m relieved. I feel hopeful.
Doc: So, what do you think about your smile?
Me: I like it. ( I smiled).
Doc: Are you nuts? You look hideous.
Me: (Angrily.. You fatso doctor) I don’t think so. I love my smile. I don’t see anything wrong with it and my grandma agrees.
Doc: (Smirks) Overconfidence is not always good you know.
Imagine this being told to a teen. I went home and kept smiling in front of the mirror from different angles. Maybe I do look hideous. Post that incident, I never smiled/laughed carefreely. I would always hide my laugh with my hand or look down or control my laughter.
And yes the doc lied again. This procedure was long and more invasive than my previous dentist’s visit. And I internalized the dentist chair with the brutal nerve pain, the dentist lying about “I will stop whenever you say” and making me feel bad about myself.
So, in my adult years, when I had to visit the dentist again, I wanted to take charge and not hear any more lies or tolerate any insults.
Me: Doc, I know it will hurt.
Doc: Only the first injection.
Me: I have had dental treatments earlier. I know it hurts.
Doc: Not after injection. You can tell me to stop whenever it hurts and I will.
Me : (Oh boy!! Not this again. Today is my last day on earth.)
(Second attempt:) I mean I know it will hurt and it will hurt bad. Can you just tell me before it does? I like to be prepared. Surprises scare me more.
Doc : (Patiently listening and still confused) But Vasudha, it won’t hurt.
Me : (I’m gonna die today for real.)
To my surprise, the doctor not only did stop when I raised my hand, he kept checking if I was ok every few minutes and the drill machine didn’t hurt :).
I’m still scared of nerve pain, the drill machine and the dentist chair. But I trust my doctor now. And thanks to him(and my family), I’ve overcome my childhood fears.
I’m so scared of the nerve prick that I would always request the doc to give me (extra) anesthesia so that my whole mouth is numb. In my last visit, I did 2 dental procedures without any injection and tolerated a handful of intense nerve pricks. The doc did give me an option for anesthesia and doing the treatment on my next visit. But I’m so glad that I refused and faced my fears head-on. Once it was over, I wanted to yell and scream that this was my Mount Everest and I’ve finally conquered it. It felt liberating and I was light as a feather.
So, let me ask you this, what beliefs and fears are holding you back? Face them.
Dread feeds on inaction and it’s a vicious cycle. Disrupt it.
Looking back, I’m grateful that I’m no longer a victim of my own internal monologue. There is great power in proving to yourself that you are bigger than your fear. And the sooner you do it, the better are your chances to rectify the problems before it transforms into your Mount Everest.
Babita Chandak says
Love u my brave girl. So many memories are in down line about your this dental write-up but I am so happy that my tiny girl growing up in a brave girl. She do started to face her fears and over come from them. Love to read your blogs. Agreed that let stand and face to your fears and this is the only way to overcome from them.
Purnima Samson says
Loveeee reading ur write ups..funny..factual…i relived my ordeals too through ur words..so very well written…write moreeeee…i m waiting
Rashmi Talreja says
Gone through same experience so I can easily relate to what you have written.. really like ur blogs coz there is nothing artificial in it..u just penned ur experiences beautifully
Aditi Tayal says
This is so real that while reading, I could relive the feeling of having the drilling machine vibrations on my teeth. The dental procedures are indeed very scary.
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Loved this blog !!
vasudha says
Ouch!! They are scary, indeed. I hope you have a good dentist.
Glad you liked it.