I was more terrified to go to Goa alone than Kashmir. Why? Because I am really really scared of dogs and I don’t know how to drive a 2 – wheeler yet. Goan dogs are really territorial and they keep barking all the time which further heightens my fear and anxiety. There is this duality of enjoying such serene surroundings while trying to act brave with multiple stray dogs barking and running around on beaches. Every cafe, beach shack, or supermarket will have multiple stray dogs lying around at all hours. It’s a nightmare for people who suffer from Cynophobia – an extreme fear of dogs.
Back at home, I avoid wandering in the lanes if I spot a barking dog or a bunch of dogs from far away. I’ve told my husband that I would take a bullet for you but if there’s ever a dog attack on us, I will throw you to the dogs and run for the cover. But don’t worry, I will take you to the doctor and take proper care of you.
That said, this has been my biggest fear for most of my life and so far, all of my solo trips have challenged my limits and beliefs in a good way. So, I gave myself a little pep talk and went to a beach shack. I told the waiter to keep the stray dog away from me and started soaking in the majestic views. I’ve never been to Goa in the month of October and the weather was so so good. Adding to that, most of my Goa trips with our friend’s group have always been around the Baga/Calangute areas which are always overcrowded. I was staying close to Ashvem beach which had like 10 people and the water was crystal clear.
I ordered a beer and paratha. Disclaimer – I’m someone you would call a very light drinker and have recently started drinking beer. The beer came first and since I drank it empty stomach, I was high (told you, light drinker). Then the realization hit me: I’ve come alone and there is no one to take care of me. Fuck the independent strong woman!! Also, I need to watch my steps so that I don’t step over the sleeping dogs who seriously own Goa.
I had a long call with my bestie for hours about I don’t even know what. I bought alcohol and some snacks with milk and coffee packets and headed back to my Airbnb. All this within hours of landing in Goa. Hell yeah, solo trip.
The shuttling between beach walks in the hot sun and the extra cold AC room, coupled with the always odd hours flight to Goa from Bangalore gave me a pretty bad headache. I slept hard in the afternoon and woke up to realize that I got my period. What is with the Goa trips and my periods !!
I’m not an outgoing person and although I do have fun and explore new sides of myself during all of my solo trips, there are always days when I have to do a pep talk just to step out of the house. This was one of them. I finally did head out at 5 pm, the next day. Went straight to the beach hoping to catch the sunset. It was dreamy and had a calming effect on me.
There were dozens of stray dogs barking and running like cheetahs everywhere. The beach had less than 10 people which was really great but also became a playground for dogs. I was trying to keep a mental check on which dog was near me and attempting to keep a calm face. I dipped my feet in the water and spent time watching the sunset or whatever was left of it. It was serene.
People preoccupied with taking selfies than watching nature still baffles me but I know it’s the norm now. I saw 2 teenagers clicking pictures and videos of their parents holding hands and instructing them on how to pose, and that left me with a smile. One of the mothers saw me smiling and blushingly said – “look what these kids are making us do”. The daughter was still giving her instructions on how to hold hands. I immediately said – it’s so cute. All 4 of us shared a laugh. It’s these little moments that I really cherish during solo travel.
I started walking over to a little deserted area on the seashore (dodging dogs) and saw a beautiful lady who appeared to be in a trance looking at the sun and wasn’t blinking. Seeing her alone, and in the hopes of meeting another solo traveler, I wanted to say hi but didn’t want to disturb her peace. So I walked around a bit contemplating how long was long enough. Finally, seeing the darkness set in, I thought of just saying hi, and if she wasn’t interested I would just walk back.
She immediately removed her earphones and said “I think I spotted something in the water – that’s why I was so closely watching”.
“Spotted what?” – I asked.
“I think it’s Dolphins.”
“Wait, What? That close to the shore??”
“Yes, yes, I’m pretty sure. But I know it’s hard to believe. That’s why I was so focussed.”
She had an aura around her, not a glowing halo but something special. I thought she is either really manifesting dolphins or delusional. She was pointing to an area too close to the shore and clearly, no one else had spotted anything.
Nevertheless, I didn’t want to be impolite and I thought of staying back with her and started observing. And after 5 minutes or so I saw a splash with a partial tail. I was shocked. And then we saw it again and this time it was clear from the fin that this is not a big fish or shark but a dolphin swimming alone. We both were overjoyed and mesmerized. It was so amazing to share this moment together and I was so glad that I stepped out of the room and actually approached her.
But there was bitter learning too. You see, I have been judging people for being too glued to their phones in these magical surroundings. However, I wasn’t paying real attention too. In short, I wasn’t truly living in the moment. My new friend Adeluna aka Luna was. Second, I was too quick to judge her when she said she spotted a dolphin and I do believe I’m pretty open to people and experiences, especially during my solo adventures. Lesson learned.
Back to the story, I and luna stayed back for a bit longer. She is a yoga teacher in a nearby wellness center and was actually not feeling well today. She too pushed herself to step out and was amazed at how the evening has unfolded. Dolphins apparently are her spirit animal. We talked some more and saw the most gorgeous sunset after effects – it was like glowing volcanoes hidden behind the cloud. Pictures can never do justice – unless you are a pro photographer.
We walked together back to her wellness center. I told her that I’m really scared of dogs and since she loved dogs, asked her to please keep them away from me. She said – “Sure, sure” and without missing a beat said there are 3 dogs in the cafe (which is in the wellness center), and started describing their names and behaviors. One of them really barks at people.
What? Luna, I just told you that I’m scared of dogs.
“Don’t worry, darling!! You will be fine. They won’t do anything to you”, she replied.
Ok, but you will keep them away from me if any of them approaches me?
Of course. For sure, sure.
Ok, then. Let’s do it.
The moment we entered the cafe, someone called her and she went in another direction. I saw multiple dogs and cats and my first thought was – wait who will protect me? I saw a guy sitting alone and quickly grabbed a seat near him. Luna came back immediately and introduced me to Swarnim. He was stunned when he learned that we saw dolphins. We immediately bonded over so many different topics and had deep conversations about things that I’d never spoken about with any of my friends before. We all shared stories, beliefs, and struggles of our own personal lives. They were so easy to talk to and truly, I mean truly non-judgemental. We played different instruments (I don’t even know their names) and had the most amazing food. I completely lost track of time.
Luna excused herself for a brief while and came back with a handwritten postcard. This was one of the sweetest things anyone has ever done for me, it really really warmed my heart in a way that I almost choked up. I was struggling to find words to thank her and perhaps seeing my struggle, she held my hand and said so many wonderful things about me, which I just couldn’t register or believe about myself. The way she listens to you with her undivided attention and presence, really makes you feel that it’s definitely the first time you’ve been heard. It’s unreal. Her eyes welled up every time she is listening to any of your struggles or just hardships. I was speechless and didn’t have any words for the cocktail of experiences I’d had.
By this time, it was really late. The Airbnb was in an inside lane and I was terrified to go alone. Both of them offered to drop me but I said I want to do it by myself. But please be near your phone, I will call you if I’m too scared. On the way, I stopped in a supermarket to stock snacks, and looks like all the dogs on the street just decided to hang out in front of the store. I finally made it back safely to my homestay. And that’s when it hit me, that I actually forgot to pay my food bill. I called Swarnim and he immediately asked – are you safe, should I come? I told him about my act of bravery. He said, he was proud of me and the meal was his treat since he had such a fun time. We made plans of catching up tomorrow and I happily jumped in bed. What a day!!
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