{"id":88,"date":"2020-07-05T18:43:12","date_gmt":"2020-07-05T18:43:12","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/ideaweb.me\/blog\/?p=88"},"modified":"2020-07-08T15:48:59","modified_gmt":"2020-07-08T15:48:59","slug":"marriage-the-myth-of-a-happy-life","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/ideaweb.me\/blog\/marriage-the-myth-of-a-happy-life\/","title":{"rendered":"Marriage – The myth of a happy life"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
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I asked my bestie to suggest some gifts ideas for my upcoming anniversary.
Me: It\u2019s special this time, we completed 7 years.
Bestie: What? I didn\u2019t think you guys would last even 1.
Me: That\u2019s true. Neither did I.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

What no one told me was that marriage is work\u2014a shit-ton of hard and intensive work. During the early years of my marriage, I thought something was wrong with us. We did love each other and had lots of happy moments. But there were numerous fights, countless breakups, and days when I wanted to quit. \u2063Honestly, it\u2019s nothing short of a mega miracle that we stayed together.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I could write an entire encyclopedia about the fights, doubts, endless browsing on the internet, in search of a magic potion which will make all our problems disappear. Or how badly I wanted to find a marriage counselor who could make my husband realize his mistakes and how blessed he was to find an amazing wife. Because, Darling, I just needed some tiny-winy tweaks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But since every couple is unique, there is no one size fits answer for all. Moreover, talking about marital disputes is such a taboo that it\u2019s hard to even open up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Before you feel sorry for me, let me clarify that at present I\u2019m happily married and I couldn\u2019t imagine anyone better than my partner to handle me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Marriage has become a status symbol \u2014 a trademark of a successful life. The desire for acceptance and respect is deep rooted in humans. Our society has constantly fed us with this vague idea of finding the Mr\/Ms right so that you can live happily ever after and how marriage will make all your problems disappear. News flash: This is EPIC BULLSHIT. And I so wish someone had told me this earlier.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMarry because that will make you complete.\u201d <\/span><\/strong><\/em>
It doesn\u2019t. Half and a half, in this case, equals just half, heck actually zero. Don\u2019t fall prey to the classic societal trap. Don\u2019t get married to be happy. Be happy with yourself first and then get married. Learn to love yourself the way you want someone else to love you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMarry because you will live happily ever after.\u201d<\/span><\/strong><\/em>
Marriage brings you face to face with your greatest vulnerabilities, insecurities, and ebbs. It won\u2019t do the work for you. That work is always and forever yours. People say that failed relationships teach us a lot. But I believe, it\u2019s our ongoing relationships that can be the most enlightening medium for self-awareness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cFind your Mr\/Ms. Right, and they will make your dreams come true.\u201d<\/span><\/strong><\/em>
It\u2019s not about finding the right person. It\u2019s about becoming the right person. Your partner is not your knight in shining armor but more of your best friend that you get to hang out with for the rest of your life. Just like you, they\u2019re human and never will be perfect. It\u2019s not their job to make you happy. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

These fallacious expectations set many people up to fail. It was certainly true for me. I had mistakenly assumed that marriage will fix our problems. And to tell you the truth, I hoped that my partner would have the sixth sense to apprehend my desires and behave exactly as a fantasy husband should. Just like how I expected him to know that he should be giving me a surprise gift on Christmas – because my family celebrates every festival. And since he loves me, he should too.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let me tell you this, it\u2019s a horrible idea and it never works. Now, I tell him upfront that I would like to have a secret Santa present on Xmas rather than playing the guessing game and we go to bed happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Marriage is about cooperation rather than compromise. The idea of marriage is to complement each other and not to complete each other. Expecting someone else to fill a void in you drains out the life from your relationship. The good news is, it\u2019s never too late to work on improving your marriage!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

With passing years, I’ve cherished the evolution of our marriage. \u2063We trust and understand each other way more and are able to work through our differences without fighting as often. There\u2019s far more happiness than doors slamming these days. \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Marriage is hard work, but it’s one heaven of a ride. As they say, “What comes easy won\u2019t last, and what lasts won\u2019t come easy.”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I asked my bestie to suggest some gifts ideas for my upcoming anniversary.Me: It\u2019s special this time, we completed 7 years.Bestie: What? I didn\u2019t think you guys would last even 1.Me: That\u2019s true. Neither did I. What no one told me was that marriage is work\u2014a shit-ton of hard and intensive work. During the early […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","pgc_sgb_lightbox_settings":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[12],"tags":[7,11],"class_list":{"0":"post-88","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","6":"category-marriage","7":"tag-life","8":"tag-marriage","9":"entry","10":"has-post-thumbnail"},"featured_image_src":null,"featured_image_src_square":null,"author_info":{"display_name":"vasudha","author_link":"https:\/\/ideaweb.me\/blog\/author\/vasudha\/"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/ideaweb.me\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/88"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/ideaweb.me\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/ideaweb.me\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ideaweb.me\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ideaweb.me\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=88"}],"version-history":[{"count":10,"href":"https:\/\/ideaweb.me\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/88\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":101,"href":"https:\/\/ideaweb.me\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/88\/revisions\/101"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/ideaweb.me\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=88"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ideaweb.me\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=88"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ideaweb.me\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=88"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}