{"id":103,"date":"2020-07-12T19:00:41","date_gmt":"2020-07-12T19:00:41","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/ideaweb.me\/blog\/?p=103"},"modified":"2020-07-14T00:47:37","modified_gmt":"2020-07-14T00:47:37","slug":"how-to-create-a-happy-marriage-avoid-divorce","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/ideaweb.me\/blog\/how-to-create-a-happy-marriage-avoid-divorce\/","title":{"rendered":"What no one tells you about Marriage"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Marriage is a freakin\u2019 roller coaster.<\/strong> We\u2019ve had our fair share of disagreements, door-slammings and string of divorces (not on paper). We met a decade back (quite literally) and have been married for 7 freaking years. I\u2019m head over heels for him, now more than ever but it has been a really really wild ride.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

My last post<\/a> made me ponder about when did we stopped fighting and what triggered the change. I really can\u2019t remember any single aha moment but here are the key lessons I\u2019ve learned the hard way.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

  1. Expectations mismatch<\/strong>. We both got married fairly young (well by our standards). We were ambitious, driven, and haven\u2019t really explored what we wanted. Turned out that we had very different expectations from each other. Something which we never communicated and only realized during our fights. Unrealistic expectations can wreck your life if you let them.
    You might be very focussed on your work or want to pursue higher education and your partner might want to travel the world together or start a family. It\u2019s important to have these discussions as early as possible. A healthy marriage begins with healthy expectations.<\/li><\/ol>\n\n\n\n
    1. Conflicts<\/strong> happen and it\u2019s completely normal. Just don\u2019t let them turn into a war (Every time). Pick your battles wisely. Disputes can create breakthroughs and bring you closer.
      Listen to your partner when they are talking their heart out. More often than not, all they want is to be heard. So, shut up and really listen. Always remember that you are on the same team and it\u2019s not about proving someone wrong. So, stop playing the blame game and be the one looking for solutions.\u2063\u2063
      Shit happens. Forgive and don’t hold grudges. And never ever .. ever go to bed mad. If you are struggling, seek external help. (PS: It\u2019s nothing to be ashamed of.)<\/li><\/ol>\n\n\n\n
      1. Love yourself<\/strong>. Put in the work to take care of yourself  \u2014 physically, emotionally, intellectually, and spiritually. Your partner is a great asset in helping you become a better version of yourself but they shouldn\u2019t be the sole reason for your change. For example – don\u2019t start a weight-loss program, so that your partner finds you hot but do it because you want to feel that for yourself.
        Women are generally more emotionally dependent on their spouses. Remember that, it\u2019s not your partner\u2019s job to quench all your emotional needs. They are your companion and a separate human being with a life of their own. So stop putting pressure on them and you\u2019ll enjoy each other a lot more. (PS: I have found this article to be super helpful on         how to overcome emotional dependency<\/a>).<\/li><\/ol>\n\n\n\n
        1. Love<\/strong> unconditionally. Respect<\/strong> and be each other\u2019s support<\/strong> system. I have always been heavy on the respect part.
          In fact, when Hari first asked me out – I told him that I have no romantic feelings for him whatsoever and I don\u2019t love him. But it\u2019s a YES. His face had a cocktail of emotions – shock, confusion, and happiness.
          Well, I said Yes, because I knew he was a friend for a lifetime and I really respected him deeply. And these were the core reasons why I didn\u2019t call it quits whenever we hit a rocky patch. He still remains my bestie, someone who ALWAYS has my back and pushes me to be a better person. And for that, I\u2019m forever grateful.<\/li><\/ol>\n\n\n\n
          1. \u201cEnjoy the honeymoon period while it lasts\u201d- is classic advice (Meme) newlyweds get. There has been an alarming increase in the number of cases for \u201cRoommate syndrome\u201d-\u00a0 Couples living together in a marriage that has grown stale. Basically, couples who are sharing a roof but living separate lives. That\u2019s a slippery slope.
            Make quality time<\/strong> for each other. Celebrate! Experience life TOGETHER. Slow down, relax, and take vacations – both short and long ones. Do things that made you smile early in your relationships. Loosen up a little.
            A lot of relationships die because people get lazy and start taking their partners for granted. It\u2019s way too easy to get caught up in the busyness of life. Life is precious and unpredictable. Ask someone who has lost their spouse too soon.<\/li><\/ol>\n\n\n\n

            Getting married is super easy. Anyone can do it. Staying happily married is an altogether\u00a0different beast to tame. We\u2019ve gone through a fair share of happy times and struggles. It has certainly made me a much better person.
            Would I recommend it to anyone else? YES.\u00a0
            Do I expect it to be an easy ride from here on? Hopefully yes. \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n\n\n\n

            I\u2019m a work in progress and don\u2019t have all this figured out. Just try to do a little better every day, be grateful for what you have, and make your marriage a priority rather than an afterthought.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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            Here’s to a lifetime of cuddles, adventures, love, fight & a beautiful partnership :).<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>\n<\/div><\/div>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n

            <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

            Marriage is a freakin\u2019 roller coaster. We\u2019ve had our fair share of disagreements, door-slammings and string of divorces (not on paper). We met a decade back (quite literally) and have been married for 7 freaking years. I\u2019m head over heels for him, now more than ever but it has been a really really wild ride. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","pgc_sgb_lightbox_settings":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[12],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-103","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","6":"category-marriage","7":"entry","8":"has-post-thumbnail"},"featured_image_src":null,"featured_image_src_square":null,"author_info":{"display_name":"vasudha","author_link":"https:\/\/ideaweb.me\/blog\/author\/vasudha\/"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/ideaweb.me\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/103"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/ideaweb.me\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/ideaweb.me\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ideaweb.me\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ideaweb.me\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=103"}],"version-history":[{"count":35,"href":"https:\/\/ideaweb.me\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/103\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":135,"href":"https:\/\/ideaweb.me\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/103\/revisions\/135"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/ideaweb.me\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=103"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ideaweb.me\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=103"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ideaweb.me\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=103"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}